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Something Borrowed

by Louisa Klein

If you’re planning to go to watch “Something borrowed”, thinking it’s an amusing, light romantic comedey able to light-up your day, please don’t do it. Don’t go, since It’s not a pleasant romantic comedy, but just a waste of money, your money in this case. and after 5 minutes watching it you will want to inflict a slow and painful death to the whole cast, the director and the screenwriter.
Here’s the original and exciting plot:
Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) is a talented and rather ugly attorney at a top New York law firm, a generous and loyal friend, and, unhappily, still single-as her engaged best friend Darcy , played by an outrageously old-looking Kate Hudson, is constantly reminding her. But after celebrating her 30th birthday, perpetual good girl Rachel unexpectedly ends up in the arms of the guy she’s had a crush on since law school, Dex (Colin Egglesfield)…who just happens to be Darcy’s fiancé. As one thing leads to another in the frantic weeks leading up to Darcy’s wedding, Rachel finds herself in an impossible situation, caught between her treasured friendship with Darcy and the love of her life. Meanwhile, Ethan (John Krasinski), Rachel’s constant confidante and sometimes conscience, is busy evading the affection of Darcy’s hopelessly love-struck friend Claire (Ashley Williams) while harboring a secret crush of his own; and the charming and irrepressible Marcus (Steve Howey) has designs on Rachel that don’t necessarily exclude any other woman who catches his eye.
The whole story could work as a nice comedy in the style of Noel Coward, Feydeau or any other great playwriter of the past century. It could, if it had been written by any other talented screenplayer of the current century. Instead, all we’ve got is a list of banalities and clichés, two ugly and old women who are supposed to be thirty (muahhaa! In what universe?), a bunch of boring, spineless men and a story dragged along by a good-to- do- nothing writer and a chauvinistic director, according to whom women in their thirties should marry the first wreck they find in the street, since they cannot “afford to be picky”. Well, maybe when you have Kate Hudson’s face you can’t dude, or when you have the sex-appeal of a toaster, like Ginnifer Goodwin, but regular, no-nonsense girls tend to be picky in matter of marriage, you know, when you’re supposed to stay with someone for the rest of your life you tend to give it a thought …
Also what about self-respect? And independence, personal strength, the concept that a woman can be many things in life and being a wife is just one of them?
This film shows the most unlikely story ever , gathering some of the most utterly unlikable characters you’ve ever met. Inevitably, a few questions come to mind after a few minutes this movie has been inflicted on you:

  1. why Rachel and Dex never told each other how they felt at Law School, when things would have been much more simple?
  2. Why is super-cool and definitely stolid Dex in love with shallow, dull Rachel (a fridge is sexier than her)?
  3. Why is Dex’s billionaire family so eager to see him married to an old, fat, penniless goose who is also clearly a gold-digger?

The answer is: you’ll never know. No explanation is given.
I suspect most of us would rather stick a pencil in our own eye to avoid any contact whatsoever with the insufferable twats populating this gruesome rom-com. I would personally do the same to avoid to meet anyone involved in the production of this boring nonsense.
Mark my words: just save your money, stay at home and read a good book instead: I suggest some engaging, profound French novel, like Madame Bovay, or Mademoiselle du Maupin, you won’t regret it, trust me.
Director: Luke Greenfield
Writers: Jennie Snyder (screenplay), Emily Giffin (novel)
Stars:Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson and Colin Egglesfield
Louisa Klein

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